The 9 Necessary Advice For Friend After Breakup You Can Give

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In life, relationships don’t always happen the way you want them to. There are things that you think are going to be the worst, like when your best friend breaks up. It’s hard to know what to do when you see your friend heartbroken. As a friend, you need to be with them. Or, if necessary, give them some room. How are you going to know what to do to assist them? Here are 8 advice for friend after breakup you should know.

Necessary advice for friend after breakup

Be there to listen

At these times, you should stay by your side and listen to your friend share to know her story. Wait until they finish talking and don’t interrupt. Being there without comparisons or assumptions about what they should do or what they need. Try being an active listener who shares the space just by being there and letting them talk. Don’t say things like, “You’re single now!” or “You can finally date someone better!” This can hurt them and demonstrates that you are not now paying attention to their suffering.

Be there to listen

Point them to the truth

This is a great time to remind your friend where their true worth comes from. Breakups can really affect someone’s sense of self. You can encourage them with words or even songs. Help them rebuild or maintain the self-esteem, confidence and self-efficacy that may have been lost after a breakup by reminding them of all the strengths they have. Remind them that it’s just a relationship and that a lot of good things are ahead of them.

Ask what you can do to help

Every relationship is unique, and so, every breakup is as well. Your previous breakup won’t be the same as your friend’s. So the most helpful thing you can do right away is to ask what you can do to help. Be careful not to make commitments you can’t make, but asking them what they need is one way to show you care and are willing to help. That way, even if your friend doesn’t know what they need right now, they know they can reach you when something comes up.

Help them “reinvent themselves”

It usually takes about three months to recover from a breakup. So when your friend is ready, encourage them to embrace whatever positivity and progress they are feeling so they can move on in a healthy way. Encourage your friend to pursue an effective path of personal development, such as:

  • Join a new hobby or class.  Has your friend ever expressed a desire to study Spanish? Running a half marathon? By assisting them in locating opportunities, encourage them to take use of their newfound spare time.
  • Try a new look. Again, a split provides a clear window for a new beginning. Whether your friend wants to try a bold new hairstyle or wants to go shopping, support her.

Help them “reinvent themselves”

Avoid talking bad about your ex

Breakups are a time to process and promote positivity, so bad-mouthing is not the way to go. Even if you’re angry at your friend’s ex for whatever happened, or never trusted them in the first place, you should keep your opinions to yourself until things go wrong. Making negative comments will only make your friend feel worse.

Avoid talking bad about your ex

Don’t minimize their feelings

When a friend is sad, all we want to do is make them feel better and ease the pain. But by trying to distract your friend from their feelings, or telling them “your ex wasn’t worth the pain“, and the like – all that you are doing is offending their feelings. To really get over the breakup, the person needs to go through their feelings and really feel them.

Make life easier for them

You can make your friend’s life easier by taking on some of their duties and chores. Perhaps they are too bored to cook, so you can prepare a favorite meal for them. Maybe they want to redecorate their place so it doesn’t remind them of their ex. Help them do it. In addition, you can also do simple but very effective things like go grocery shopping, buy them a warm sweater or simply tell them a joke. Try to bring joy into their lives and make things easier for them.

Offer a change of environment

Book a last-minute city break, or just take a day trip to the coast. Creating physical distance between them and their ex can be a real lifesaver, even if only for a short time. You can also offer to change the environment by inviting your friends to places they’ve never been before. Encourage them to experience new things because it can remind them that there is a lot more to come that they have yet to experience. Also, new things are fun, and they can make your friend stop bothering about her ex.

Find a therapist for them

While breakups take an average of three months to get over, the recovery process looks different for each person depending on their past experiences. If your friend can get professional help, consider helping them find a therapist. The therapist provides a neutral and safe space to talk more deeply about the breakup without the risk of judgment or pressure. Professional help can be an invaluable support system to prevent, cope and/or heal from any long-term effects.

advice for friend after breakup


Breaking up can be a challenging and difficult process. Your support and love during this time are much needed. And above all, remember that your support can be a source of positivity during another bleak period of their life. However, it is important to support friends in a way that gives them space to process their emotions while promoting their healing and personal growth.

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I am a psychologist with 5 years of experience working in psychiatric hospitals and treating students at universities. I created this blog to share useful tips to make everyone's life better and happier.

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