Maybe you have a friend who is facing an important life decision and wants to hear from you. Chances are you will be asked for advice on many occasions. There is certainly an art to knowing how and when to give good advice. Most of the time when someone comes to you, they don’t expect you to have all the answers, they just want someone to listen and be there for them to get through the tough times. Giving helpful advice is an important part of learning how to be a good friend. So how to give your friend advice? Here are some of our best tips for supporting your closest friends.
How to give your friend advice? Best way to give advice
Ask if they really want to help
The first thing is to ask if they really want to help. Some people are not willing to accept help or advice even though they are stuck. Don’t jump in and tell someone what to do without asking if they want to hear it. You don’t want to add stress to their life. Ask them if they’d want some suggestions to make the situation better if you feel the urge to give them unsolicited advice. By doing this, they have the choice to refuse, and when they decide to accept your assistance, they’ll probably pay closer attention to you. You don’t want to put someone under any pressure to follow your counsel.
Ask thoughtful questions
Giving advice begins with active listening. Use active listening skills like nodding, open body language, and asking questions for more information. After listening, it is essential to ask your friend questions to determine what they hope to gain from this conversation. Explain that you need to know what they want. That will help them feel that you are really listening and trying to help.
Avoid criticizing
Don’t focus on their mistakes but focus on the solution. They already know what they did wrong. Remember that anyone who asks for your advice trusts you. Make sure you don’t damage this trust by judging them. When you plan to say something, make sure you use neutral, objective language. Share your opinion, but make it clear that you trust their ability to make the final decision. The person will feel more assured as a result of this.
Provide alternative options
Dr. Art Markman, who writes for Psychology Today, recommends giving your friends information they may have overlooked. It helps to provide alternative options to choose from without giving your opinion on either option. That’s called “decision support,” which guides someone to make their own choices. It’s easy to fall into binary thinking when we have problems. If your friend is stuck between Choices A and B, suggest an alternative- Option C that they haven’t considered.
Honest and Sincere
Once you’ve decided to give advice, spend some time thinking about what you want to say then make sure it has a sound basis. This can be factual truth or you can draw from your own experience. For example, if a friend asks for advice on whether to move to a new city, give them some information about things like the job market, cost of living, and schools there. that you know.
Don’t just tell the person what they want to hear. Give sensible advice and make sure it reflects how you really feel. If you’re worried about hurting their feelings, you could say something like, “You might not like what I’m about to say. Do you really want to hear that?” besides, make sure that your advice will really help others. Always put their best interests first in your mind.
Be encouraging
Show your friends that you support them no matter what. Tell them you trust them and that even the worst problems are temporary. Tell them that if they need it, help is available. Remind them that positivity can still happen- even if they don’t feel it right now.
Alternatively, if you don’t know anything about the situation or don’t have much information, you might consider saying nothing. You can provide support in other ways. Finally, before giving advice, consider who you are giving it to. Is it a normal acquaintance? If they ask to recommend a good coffee shop, go ahead and give your opinion. If the matter is more personal, think twice.
The “don’ts” of offering advice
There are a few things you shouldn’t do when giving someone advice. First, don’t preach to them. This will make them think you are forcing them to do what you say. Instead, use collaborative forms of communication and active listening. Second, take some time to think before answering. If you come up with a solution too quickly, it shows you’re not listening. Make sure you follow the full story.
3rd, don’t tell 3rd person. Your close friends are trusting you during difficult times. Perhaps they told very few people about their plight. Finally, remember that it’s your job to make suggestions. They will likely continue thinking about this long after you’ve finished speaking and it’s up to them to decide what’s right for them. You should respect their decision.
In conclusion, here are some guidelines on how to give your friend advice as well as what not to do when giving advice. You can do a lot of things to make your friend’s life better. Support them no matter what, offer advice if they ask for it, and encourage them to be the best version of themselves.
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